An Honest Conversation About Living with Food Allergies
Some may, and some may not know this about me, but I am one of about 3 million Canadians* that has a food allergy. Before you ask, no, I won’t be talking about what it is I’m allergic to, or how severe it is, but today, I wanted to write this blog to talk about the realities of what it is like living in with a food allergy, as an adult, in a society that has a “well, I should be able to eat x, y & z” way of thinking. If I’m being very frank, this isn’t going to be a typical happy blog post — I want to communicate honestly with all of you about what living with food allergies is like, because whether you like it or not, you actually can develop an allergy at any point in your life.
* Source: Food Allergy Canada.
As I mentioned above, I’m not going to get into details of my allergy, how severe it is, or what I’m allergic to, because to me, that’s irrelevant. All I want to focus on today is that food allergies should be taken seriously. Let’s start with talking about basic things like going out to eat at restaurants or even going to birthday parties when I was a kid. None of these things are normal experiences for me as someone who has allergies.
Starting with going to restaurants — every time I go out for dinner, or order takeout, I have to disclose my allergy on my order, and I’m often met with “well, we do our best but we just want you to know we can’t guarantee anything.” Which, as much as it sucks, makes sense. Every time I go out for a meal though, I’m almost always taking a gamble. Let’s not forget about trying new restaurants. Calling them, or asking before even being seated if they can accommodate my allergy. These things have felt embarrassing for me throughout my life. I’ve always felt like I dictate outings with friends (without even trying to), and make finding places to eat really, really difficult. I know my friends don’t care ultimately, and when they go out for food with me, that’s just a reality of it & they know that beforehand. Moral of the story — finding a restaurant that can accommodate my food allergy can be tough, and it’s not as easy for me to go out for meals because of this.
Birthday parties as a kid were also kind of shitty, to be perfect honest. Never being able to have the birthday cake, always rolling up with my own food & desserts… it oddly feels kind of isolating. Think about being a kid again, and feeling excluded from something completely out of your control… it sucks. It’s something I’ve come to be okay with as I’ve gotten older, but it took a long time to get there.
Now let’s talk about relationships & socializing, because yes, I still have to think about my food allergies in these scenarios. Did you know that if you have a severe food allergy that something as simple as kissing after your partner eats something with that allergen in it can cause death? Yeah, I wish that wasn’t that case either. You can read about a case that happened in 2016 with this exact scenario here. If your allergy is severe enough, finding a partner who’s willing to give up a kind of food for you can be tough. Not to mention having to train your partner and friends to administer an epipen. Most people with food allergies will carry one, no matter how severe because fun fact about food allergies — you can have a mild reaction one time, and a deathly one the next. Fun, right?
When it comes to going out with friends, forget about sharing anything like drinks or bites of food off a utensil. Though I know a lot of people with food allergies do this, it’s really not recommended for obvious reasons. What about touching surfaces — have you ever worried about touching a door handle or a countertop and wondering if you’re going to break out in hives? I know I have. Or have you ever had to read the ingredients list on every single bottle of makeup & skincare you've ever been brought home to make sure that you won’t swell up like a balloon if you touch it? I have.
The last thing I want to talk about is travelling. Because again, it’s something not a lot of people think of. Food allergies are primarily a North American issue, so travelling and going new places can be more planning, and some places are entirely out of question. Did you know that in some countries, it can be difficult to eat out? When food allergies aren’t common in these countries, telling a server that you’re allergic to a certain food can be taken as “I don’t want to eat this”, and not “I can die if I eat this”? Even here in North America, people have told servers that they’re allergic to a certain food to ensure their meal comes without it. All this kind of behaviour does is completely discredit people who actual do have food allergies. Moral of this story? Stop saying you’re allergic to tomatoes when you just don’t like them.
This is just a truly small glimpse into what life with food allergies is like. I know it’s one of those things that unless you, or someone you know has food allergies, you don’t really think about it. I can’t blame people for not really thinking about it, but in Canada alone, 3 million people have food allergies. Yes, that’s a small percentage of the overall population, but ultimately, don’t we all deserve to be able to live like everyone else?
